.She's My Angel.

We're coming up on the anniversary of a certain date a few years ago, a very important person in my life suddenly and untimely passed away. What many of us would consider a long life in these days was drastically cut short. As expected, it hit me very very hard. I was mad. And understandably upset. Not to sound selfish about this, but, for me, it just had to happen at the most oppurtune time. I was just a few weeks into finishing up another semester at Northampton with some difficult projects and exams coming up in some pretty hard classs. Why would God decide to take this person at this time, is what I kept thinking. It all just happened too soon for me.

This major event in the early years of my life taught me something very important. That is that life can be given to someone just as quickly as it can be taken away. No one has the sole power to decide when they can end their own life. That power is reserved for God and God alone. Apparently, he thought that this person had lived a , for he lack of a better term , fulfilling life and decided to bring them to a better life in Heaven. Though sad, in a way, I'm happy God took this person as fast as he did because it meant that they had no more suffering. The suffering was passed onto the remaining liing family members in a way so that we grieve their death. Also, I'm sad because I feel there was so much more love and advice that I was supposed to recieve from them. This person is now in a better place in Heaven, alongside God, looking down on my every move I make. And from now on, I plan upon making her happy and be sure to make the right decisions. This person. . . Was my Grandmother,who was only 71 years old!!

It has been quite a few years since she passed away . . I still very very much miss her . . I wish she was still here with us today . . But I know she is in a better place now . . And she can look down on and watch over me from above.

I hope i'm making you happy Nan! I LOVE YOU! And I miss You!

As a way to commerate her undying memory, I am currently in the process of creating a 16' X 20' oil painting of my most favorite picture taken of her. It is a very special picture to me and will forever hold it dear to my heart. It is of her sitting in a wooden rocking chair in our family room in front of the window, holding our newly gotten Oreo Cookie puppie. There is light shining through the window behind her and it seems to be resting upon her, like foreshadowing the inevitable. She has a look of pure contentment on her face as she gazes at the puppie in her hand. It has to be the happiest I have ever seen her, second only to the moment I was born. . . .

And , now , my favorite song . . . .

"Angel"- Sarah Mclachlan

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here